The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
