i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright