You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible