either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
