Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize