These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
