I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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