This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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