so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
