just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
