Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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