remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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