So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
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The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
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The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
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