He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize