Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
