tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
