So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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