I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
