return my video game
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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