Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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