It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you win again, gameday.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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