i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
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You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
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I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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