we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think I won the penis lottery.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
