i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
