I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
