no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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