Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
