Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize