I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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