You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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