I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize