are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
