Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
