I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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