I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize