at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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