Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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