I like to think it a success when the cops are called
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
