we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
