just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
