Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
i think i just lost a toe
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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