First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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