Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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