I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
