I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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