It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I AM VODKA MAN
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
