We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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