They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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