Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
