We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
