If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize