I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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