you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
as a side note pls kill me
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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