i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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