you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
