covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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