There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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