At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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