Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
