Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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