took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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